By Jeremy D. Wells
Carter County Times
In video games and tabletop role playing games wisdom is a statistic that you can max out. It’s something you achieve, and that acts as a modifier on all your other interactions in the game.
In real life it isn’t like that.
Wisdom isn’t a stat you max out. It isn’t something you achieve. It’s something you seek, and continue seeking throughout your life. And when you pick up some little nugget of wisdom you share it with others, but this doesn’t make you wise.
It just makes you someone who picked up, and passed along, a little wisdom.
I’m not wise, but I’ve picked up a little wisdom over the years. It’s honestly pretty simple. Pretty obvious once you hear it. It’s probably already stuff you realize. But it doesn’t hurt to hear it. So let me share a little of what I’ve learned with you.
Number one, you can’t see it all, ever. And if you worry about trying to see it all, you will miss out on the joy of where you are.
I learned this one primarily through music festivals, but it has much broader applications. In my youth, when I’d go to a music festival, especially one with multiple stages, I’d worry about making the most of the experience. I’d try to see at least a little bit of everything, rushing back and forth across the campground or park, leaving performances I was really enjoying so I’d get to see the end of another band, and the start of a third, before coming back to catch a fourth on the stage where I started and a fifth on the third stage.
It was exhausting, even for a young man, and I found that I wasn’t really enjoying any of the experience. Once I learned to slow down, and enjoy where I was at, I began enjoying music festivals again.
There were still bands I placed a priority on, and I made sure to see them. But there were also bands I really wanted to see that I missed, because I let something else grab my ear, and I discovered something new.
I’ve heard some call it the “love the one your with” philosophy, but I prefer not missing the forest for the trees.
Something else I wished I’d learned earlier is that there is no “one true pair.” There are lots of possible connections, in friendship and in romance. Some will work. Some won’t. Some could have but didn’t. What makes one worthwhile in the end is the work you put into developing it and growing it together.
But, and this is the hard part, some never would have, no matter how much effort you put in. Don’t dwell on those, let them go, and work on those fires that will last.
Real love and friendship isn’t the result of an intense burning spark that grows and consumes everything around it. It’s a sometimes small and fragile flame, but one that’s nurtured and protected and allowed to grow.
In the end it all boils down to time. It’s limited. It’s precious. You don’t want to waste it. But you also don’t want to be so worried about wasting it, you forget to enjoy it.
But, then again, what do I know? I’m not a wise man. Just a fool who has picked up some wisdom along the way.
Contact the writer at editor@cartercountytimes.com
