By: Keith Kappes
Columnist
Carter County Times
When the tribe turns against its leaders, things can get ugly quickly and when you least expect it.
I learned that unhappy truth in the last few weeks while caring for my wife who is slowly recovering from back surgery and other ailments.
Here is the background. All eight of our children are adults. In fact, our youngest soon will be 38. They all are tech savvy and rely heavily on their cell phones to keep in touch with each other and with their elderly parents, now 79 and 74.
For the last 10 years or so, I have used text messaging to keep them informed in a timely manner about good news and bad news affecting our family members, close friends, and each other. I refer to the eight kids as the “Kappi” which I maintain is the plural of Kappes.
Most of them have reacted positively to my messages because they each receive the good or bad tidings at the same time. That is important because, in large families especially, sibling rivalry never really goes away.
My role as their mother’s primary caregiver included taking a leave of absence from my part-time job to make sure she has the best of whatever she needs in her convalescence. After nearly 51 years of marriage, I believe that is a perfect example of the lifelong commitment that wedded folks make to each other.
To my knowledge, none of our “gang of eight” had ever expressed any negative feelings about the level of care I provided through a series of surgeries and other medical matters involving their mother.
But recently I noticed that all of them essentially were saying the same things and quoting each other’s web-based research in questioning what would or would not be best for their mama. That seemed strange because three of them live in other states.
Lo and behold, the Kappi have created their own back-channel texting network and the distribution list doesn’t include their old dad. When I asked the eldest why that was necessary, he said it was because I wasn’t updating my report in a timely enough fashion, and they didn’t want to hurt my feelings.
That’s when I decided to start wearing my new tee shirt, the one that reads:
“I love my ungrateful children.”
(Contact Keith at keithkappes@gmail.com).
