By: Keith Kappes
Columnist
Carter County Times
I was shocked Sunday morning during a men’s bible class when a man told us that he created a fake name when he had to identify an emergency contact person for his employer in case he was injured or became ill at work.
He said he was single and had no living relatives or even casual friends or acquaintances that he could ask to look after his interests if he were to become incapacitated for any reason.
I estimated his age at about 60 and he appeared to be in good health. I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve seen him in that class several times but still do not know his name, where he lives or anything else about him.
By the time the class ended, I had decided that I would offer my services as his emergency contact. However, I saw him exchanging contact information with two other men who apparently reacted sooner than me.
But I thought of another person who is retired and now serving as full-time caregiver for his disabled wife. I am reaching out to him before this week is over.
Today’s class discussion about sharing our Christian values by helping others included my first exposure to a social problem called “male loneliness epidemic.”
AI researchers at Gemini found that men and women report being lonely at basically the same rates of 15 to 20 percent. But that men commit 80 percent of the suicides in the U.S., attributed primarily to social disconnect and untreated distress.
According to data from the Survey Center on American Life, the proportion of men reporting having no close friends quadrupled from 3 percent in 1990 to 15 percent in recent years.
Men rely far more heavily on a romantic partner or spouse for emotional support than women do. Pew Research findings indicate that roughly three-quarters of men turn to a partner first when facing emotional difficulty, whereas women maintain wider, active networks of friends and family.
The Pew folks noted that single, divorced, or widowed men are therefore at a much higher risk of total isolation. As a widower since 2022, I will stop challenging my children’s concerns about me spending too much time alone in an empty house.
Contact Keith at keithkappes@gmail.com.
